Category Archives: Uncategorized

A Comparison Between Emotional Abuse and Saul Alinsky’s “Rules for Radicals”

The tone of public discourse about politics in our country today alarms a lot of people of different political persuasions. Events in my recent personal history have caused me to educate myself about emotional abuse tactics that others have used against me. I’ve noticed that a lot of these tactics are prominent in social media and the “mainstream” media. It seems to permeate almost all pop culture, entertainment and “news” which is why I avoid most of it and have for many years. I thought it would be interesting to compare emotional abuse tactics that I have personally experienced with Saul Alinsky’s “Rules for Radicals” and see if there is any overlap.

Here are links to the source documents I used for my comparison:

And here are the results:

My Personal Experience Rules for Radicals
Intended target I was likely perceived as vulnerable because of grieving a deep personal loss and having suffered an recent and extreme career and financial downturn Low-income communities and “have nots”
Gaslighting Ex-boyfriend tried to convince me that I have a lot of illnesses and that my web site gave him a virus. Ex-boss told me I’m not smart enough to learn things in classes I wanted to take. “Whenever possible, go outside the expertise of the enemy.” Look for ways to increase insecurity, anxiety and uncertainty.
Name-calling and put-downs Just in the last week I’ve had the following terms applied to me – “dumb”, “mouth-breathing”, “brain-dead”, “stupid”, “subhuman dwarf”. These were in one-on-one interactions where the people knew exactly who they were addressing.
My ex-boyfriend mocked my physical appearance and gloated and mocked me over signs that I was hurt by his actions.
“Ridicule is man’s most potent weapon.” There is no defense. It’s irrational. It’s infuriating. It also
works as a key pressure point to force the enemy into concessions.
Isolating you from your support networks My ex-boyfriend put down my family and sabotaged a reunion I had with some friends I hadn’t seen in years.
My ex-boss instructed co-workers not to help me with my projects.
“Pick the target, freeze it, personalize it, and polarize it.” Cut off the support network and isolate the
target from sympathy. Go after people and not institutions; people hurt faster than institutions.
Projection – accusing you of doing things they are doing themselves My ex-boyfriend had a lot of debt and I have none but he accused me numerous times of being bad at handling money. “Power is not only what you have, but what the enemy thinks you have.”
They accuse you of being “too sensitive” in order to deflect their abusive remarks When people taunt you and hurt you until you react, they can accuse you of all kinds of things, such as being neurotic and mentally ill. And that’s just the beginning! “If you push a negative hard enough, it will push through and become a positive.”
They try to make you feel as though they are always right, and you are wrong Abusive people have criticized me for not having enough money then got angry at me for working too hard.
I’ve been put down for taking classes to help me with my career while simultaneously being put down by the same person for my career not being sufficiently successful. I’ve been put down for things that I think are common sense – getting exercise, wearing sunscreen, eating healthy food, losing weight, saving my retirement money for retirement, combining car trips to save on gas. An abusive ex-roommate used to put down my hair color (it was natural then!). There doesn’t seem to be any aspect of my life that is too trivial for someone else to take notice of and attack.
“Keep the pressure on. Never let up.” Keep trying new things to keep the opposition off balance.

Results: there is not a one-to-one correspondence, but there is some overlap. I recommend you read the signs of emotional abuse very carefully – is someone in your personal life using those tactics against you? Is the media using those tactics against you? Are political movements using those tactics against you? I’m not pointing the finger at only one side here – I’ve been abused by people from different political points of view. My goal in writing this is to make you more aware of abuse in your life and inspire you to refuse to tolerate it – no matter who is doing it to you!

Do you recognize any of these suspects? Metrolink attack on 09/27/16

This is my work colleague Jason at our Displays that Pay booth at the Murmuration Festival on Sunday.
This is my work colleague Jason at our Displays that Pay booth at the Murmuration Festival on Sunday. Jason was attacked on Tuesday night. He was robbed, beaten, and suffered a broken ankle.
Anyone who recognizes the suspects is asked to call CrimeStoppers at 866-371-TIPS.
Anyone who recognizes the suspects is asked to call CrimeStoppers at 866-371-TIPS.
Anyone who recognizes the suspects is asked to call CrimeStoppers at 866-371-TIPS.
Anyone who recognizes the suspects is asked to call CrimeStoppers at 866-371-TIPS.
Anyone who recognizes the suspects is asked to call CrimeStoppers at 866-371-TIPS.
Anyone who recognizes the suspects is asked to call CrimeStoppers at 866-371-TIPS.
Anyone who recognizes the suspects is asked to call CrimeStoppers at 866-371-TIPS.
Anyone who recognizes the suspects is asked to call CrimeStoppers at 866-371-TIPS.

Decorate a Terra Cotta Plant Pot with Acrylic Paint and Stencils

Terra cotta pots decorated with paint and stencils

Painting and stenciling terra-cotta pots is a fun and inexpensive way to enhance your patio or garden decor. Younger and older crafters alike can join in. Small decorated pots can be used as party favors. Medium-sized pots might provide the base for a table centerpiece. A large pot could function as a gift basket that you can fill with items for a loved one who likes gardening. Gardeners can always use extra small items such as gloves* (they tend to wear out with regularity), seeds*, bulbs*, bug repellent*, gardener’s soap, hand lotion*, sunscreen*, lip balm* and plant tags*. You can also throw in a gift card* so they can get exactly what they want!

To learn how, read my article on the Schnarr’s blog: Decorate a Terra Cotta Plant Pot with Acrylic Paint and Stencils

Garden Update – Results of Condo Association Building and Landscaping Committee Meeting

If you haven’t read my previous posts here is the story so far:

Is it possible to have a permaculture garden when you live in a condo complex?

Garden Update – Results of Condo Association Board Meeting

As was decided at the November 17 board meeting, I attended the Building and Landscaping Committee Meeting on December 9 to explain my garden plan in detail and answer questions. The committee as a whole determined that I was following the by-laws and previous decisions by the board so I was to continue my plan with the compromises we agreed to worked in. The person who complained about my garden is to get a letter saying I’m managing my garden in accordance with the board and the by-laws and they can manage their own garden the way they like it. The landscapers came around for another round of leaf removal in late December and once again skipped my garden as agreed and I am very happy!

On January 1st and 3rd, I applied 20 more bags of mulch, bringing the total number of bags of mulch I’ve applied this season to 82. This time I went to the Clayton mulch pile where they have shredded leaf mulch available for the taking. It’s darker in color than the wood chip mulch I’ve been using, so I’m hoping topping the beds off with a darker layer will help my garden blend in a little bit with the neighboring areas which have not been mulched yet (that’s usually done in February and only every other year) and have only bare soil showing.

I do think the results are an improvement as you see here:

From left to right - front garden, side garden and back garden on January 4, 2016.
From left to right – front garden, side garden and back garden on January 4, 2016.

Comments from others have given me some ideas and I think the results are better than if I had not had any feedback – so far the collaboration and cooperation is resulting in a more attractive garden than if we had gone all my way or all their way. This is how it should work, how I hoped it would work and is the reason I engaged management at each step. If I can successfully pull off a sustainable garden in a condo complex, many others might learn from my experiment how to go about it. Many people all over the country who want to garden in a way that benefits the environment are dealing with the same challenges. Although I am not trying to grow food like the people in the article I can relate to some of the difficulties – for example getting permission for something according to the by-laws then getting threatened with punishment for doing it, which has happened to me more than once. Many organizations and governments are working at cross-purposes and giving their citizens mixed messages and not communicating effectively with each other or the people they are supposed to serve and the citizens suffer as a result. I think too many large organizations see their constituents or customers as subjects. The communication situation in my case has improved greatly and I’m optimistic about the future.

I’ve considered removing more of the liriope since it is not a plant native to Missouri and I want to have more native plants, but I changed my mind because liriope is all over the entire complex and having some in my garden will help with visual continuity. I’ll just keep planting around it and thinning it now and then to keep it in check. Some of the feedback I got indicated that the garden doesn’t so much look bad in their opinion as it looks different and that bothers some people. Looking different was definitely my goal because I don’t think the rest of the complex is as attractive as many other people think but since I know what a healthy garden is supposed to look like I’m seeing it in a completely different way than most people and I do realize that. To me a healthy garden is a beautiful garden, to others an unhealthy garden might be more attractive because they don’t understand what they are seeing. I think blending it in a bit better will help.

I didn’t have enough mulch this time around to cover the path area in the back as well as the planting beds, so my next step in the garden will be to get some more wood chip mulch to cover the path areas. The back garden in particular tends to look a little chaotic at times because my goal is to leave some of the dead plants standing through winter to provide habitat for wildlife and to keep the garden healthy. I think the contrasting color path area does help the appearance because it makes it look a little more ordered.

Once that is done, the next aesthetic issue I would like to address in the garden is that white pipe cap sticking up. I have an idea for a way to conceal that and another cap that is nearby that is not shown in these pictures. I’ll write about what I plan to with that later, and we’ll see if the condo association approves it.

In addition to mulching to cover up the fallen leaves in the planting beds, I applied more fertilizer and raked up the front yard. I’m not required to care for the grassy areas – the landscapers remove the leaves periodically – but it’s in my best interest to rake the area around my garden because when the grassy areas look messy my garden gets blamed. It’s understandable that people don’t distinguish between the parts I maintain and the parts the association maintains – how would they know? It looks like one unit and I’m going to start treating it as such. The leaf blowers the landscapers use leave some of the twigs behind and it does look better with the twigs raked up as well. I used what I raked up to help build up a small raised bed where I hope to grow something later.

Examples of erosion in areas that are not mulched. On the right, you can see plant roots exposed.
Examples of erosion in areas that are not mulched. On the right, you can see plant roots exposed.

These photos show spots near my unit that are not part of my garden that are suffering from not being mulched – with all the rain we’ve had lately in the St. Louis area (which I’m sure you heard about in the news!) erosion can be a problem. My garden area did not have erosion at all because it was well mulched. I’ve gone through a lot of expense and time over the last 11 years building up better soil in the planting beds – I don’t want it to go down the drain!